"Spook" is also slang for someone involved in intelligence work -- particularly in the tech sector. I once referred to a particular defense contractor crypto guy as a spook and got a really weird reaction from a small roomful of vanilla folks.
Lol called dude a spook... Last time I heard someone called that, it was this 90 year old fella in the late stages of dementia calling his nurse one. She told him that "nobody says that anymore Mr (His ass is moldy bones now) and anyone under 40 wouldn't even know what you meant"
There's a few reasons. In order; They've never been with a cuckold couple before ,nor been in that type of relationship.There's a dynamic. And so they're seeing only action and not what drives that action. I know this from having been good friends with such a couple for 2 decades.